I am now casually dating someone. And lets just say that the first time I spent the night, we broke his bed.  I know I'm not supposed to take anything men say in bed seriously, but it still weirds me out when they say, "I love you."  I mean here I am, between your legs, going down on you, and then you just blurt that out?! Cue me stopping for a moment and just staring, before reminding myself that I should just take it as a compliment to my oral skills.  How do people deal with this though?
I know my oral skills are admirable, (thank you porn!!) but I'm really not all that experienced and I don't feel that I am at the level to have guys constantly yelling sweet nothings and convulsing under my grip.  Maybe I should write a 'blow by blow guide' since it seems most women are severely lacking in the oral department... which surprises me because it's really not that difficult to do, and honestly, I love giving head.

Back...?

So I might possibly be back on my sugar hunt.  Not sure, I took a break for awhile because I was about to be a bit more well known, and I didn't feel comfortable not being completely anonymous.  But I have decided to postpone that foray, which leaves me open for another dip into the sugar bowl.  I've been talking with some potentials, three of them seem like genuine possibilities.  Again, it really depends on my comfort level though.  So I may take this slow, or not at all.
So toodles for now.

"A well dressed man is to women, what lingerie is to men"

A man who can dress himself is sooo sexy

Yum

Can I also just say that I love how men want to be objectified and want women to look at them like a hunk of meat.  I mean, women hate that but jeeze, a good looking man in a well fitted suit, wow.

Sugar Wishlist

Tom Ford Sunglasses 

Rebecca Minkoff Morning After bag

Celine Phantom Ghost bag

Chanel

Chanel

Louis Vuitton Hat Box

Giuseppe Zanotti (not necessarily these)

Burberry Quilted Jacket

Duffel Coat

Burberry

Louboutin

Hermes Birkin bag

Audi R8

5/18/2012

Why don't you take me for a ride ;)
The sugar bowl is a turbulent mistress.  One day there are no new potentials, and the next, well I'm having trouble keeping them straight.

I know there are protocols that a sugar baby is supposed to do to verify a potential before meeting him, and to ensure safety, but I'm not exactly sure how to tailor those to each of my situations.  The nice thing about potentials from your area, you can meet them the next day, the bad thing about potentials from your area, you can meet them the next day.  As in suddenly the 'getting to know you' pre-meet phase is sped up and the guys want to meet the day after first contacting you.  Normally I would insist on a few more correspondence over an extended amount of time, but the gifts this guy is offering for meeting for a drink (in a place of my choice, so of course it would be in a crowded place where I feel comfortable) are very very tempting.  Something tells me he's genuine in his offer, especially since the gifts he's offering aren't completely exorbitant.  However I'm also inclined to believe that he won't be good on his offer.  Either way, should make for an interesting experience.

It's Official

I've been wondering what to write for some time now.  On the one hand, this is supposed to be for me, so I should write whatever I damn well please... which is why making sure this remains anonymous is so important to me.  But on the other hand, this is public and it is the internet and anyone could read it and maybe connect me back to it?  Or if I choose to write about someone, someone might realize who it is?  So I'm really not sure how candid to be.  I don't want to be a bitch but I also don't want to have to censor myself, I mean what's the point of this then?

Well I met with my first potential a couple weeks back.  And when I say first, I mean first time I've ever met any potential.  First time meeting in real life.  I was so scared, that I actually considered standing him up and being a 'poof baby'.  But I would feel bad about that, and I said I was going to be a sugar baby.  I made a commitment to at least give it a try and see what this is all about.
Things went ok, he wants to see me again.  We just did the basic getting to know you conversation.  And of course graced the subject of what arrangement we are each looking for and how it would work out.  Money was not discussed, as it should not be on the first meet.  That is entirely for getting to see how the person is when they don't have the internet to hide behind.  Though I do love what one SB has done, setting up a paypal account and having any pot send her a refundable deposit of $100, just to prove that they are serious about meeting with her.  Although she clearly states that it is refundable, no one ever takes it back, the poofs nor the ones who do materialize.
I am unsure of the customs for first meets, I've heard of some pots bringing gifts (ipods, Tiffany's items, cash) though I am unsure of what is customary.  I would be lying if I said I didn't want anything, though I was not expecting anything.  He did give me a sum of cash on our departure, which I was very surprised and thankful for.  I have heard of one girl getting $1,000 in cash just for going out to dinner with a guy, though the situation was different as it was a one time thing and not the first meeting, or should I say interview?  I did feel like it was an interview, with a hint of perhaps a slight sexual undertone?
I was originally planning on wearing a gorgeous sun dress with a bright boyfriend blazer and boots, but it was cold so I just wore my school attire.  Of course I touched up my makeup and added earrings before I set out for my first meeting.  But I kept it simple, sophisticated, with a hint of sexy.  Skinnies, boots, tank, and loose silk cardy (and of course a wool peacoat).
I had planned to get to the restaurant at least half an hour early, to settle my nerves, have a drink, maybe do some reading, but he arrived first.  At least he isn't a poof daddy!
I know I've mentioned my love for shock an awe, in the bedroom, but I learned that you don't need to remove any clothing or do anything remotely sexual to get that same reaction.  On entry, I immediately made eye contact with him, and smiled.  Well, his eyes nearly popped out of his head and he almost fell off his chair, always a good sign.
Now I'll admit, the pictures I send are blurry at best and not the best quality of me.  Let's just say that I look better in person, at least that's what I'd like to tell myself is why he reacted as such.  Perhaps its also the reaffirming of my power in the situation, that I have control and that I am in charge.  It makes it much more comfortable.
He asked what type of shoes I like, though he didn't ask what size I am so I'm a little unsure if I should expect a pair of Loubies in my future, if we even have a future, of which I am still unsure of at the moment.
Part of me felt great afterwards, that I did it, I accomplished and followed through with my fear, I conquered my anxiety.  And lets face it, there are few jobs where you can make that much cash in such a short amount of time.  Not to sound spoiled or ungrateful, but I had hoped for more, though I am of course very thankful for what he gave me.  If I am to look at this as a statement of his means, and what to expect in the future, I'm afraid it might not be worth it to keep him on.
I wanted to reward myself with a shopping spree, but instead I used the money to pay off some debts.  So within a few hours of earning it, I spent it all, not all in one place, and with no material gains to show for it.

The weird thing is that when I returned to my actual life, a friend of mine brought up the sugar life, and well, completely bashed it.  I was a little unnerved.  I am surprised by how few people know what "sugar dating" is, and it rarely comes up, so for me to return from my first sugar experience only to have a friend bring it up unprompted?  Coincidence?  It remarkably diminished the high I was feeling for accomplishing something, and made me feel, dare I say... dirty?
Perhaps this is why I am feeling not only unsure if I will continue with the sugar life, but also a little unsure of myself.  I am feeling a bit sad and alone?  I'm sure it would really help if I had a fellow sugar with me whom I could talk to, or even a community to go to, just to know that I am not alone and that there are others out there, more experienced SBs who have no fear and no shame, who can bestow their words of wisdom.  So my fellow sugars, where are ya?

Bucket List

      I think it's important for everyone to have a bucket list.  I don't mean a list that you make on your deathbed with all the things you'll never do.  I'm talking about one you make right now and revise it as you get older, because let's face it; our desires change over time.  These items can be as little or grandiose as you like.  From introducing yourself to a coworker to going to the moon, nothing is out of the question.

something for everyone

     The important thing is to not be passive.  In my experience, if you let shit happen without getting involved, you're missing out on life.  So even if you don't complete everything on your list, you are still more likely to cross out more on your list when you have it written down