A Slight Mistake

     So last night I was having a great time at a friend's party... and then I found out the guy who took my virginity was there.  I freaked out and started guzzling any handle I could get my hands on.  Let's just say that things got a little fuzzy and next thing I knew, he was on top of me.  Afterwards I was freaking out even more than when I found out he was at the same party as me.  I walked to a friend's apartment, and the whole way there shook uncontrollably as I nearly broke down into a complete heap of tears.  I can't tell anyone because of how embarrassed I am, and the fact that I don't want people to know this about me.  I just want this ordeal to be over and to move on and never have to see him again.  Somehow he keeps showing up in my life and  bringing all of that fear, regret, and shame surging to the surface.  I thought I had a good handle on my life and was pretty much over that whole situation, but after this, I realize I really need to start acting like a rational adult and stop making all of these mistakes.  That's pretty obvious and you'd think it would be fairly simple, but nope I keep fucking up.
By not talking about this whole incident I hope I can repress it and be the person I was before I got so derailed by certain incidents in my life.  I'll just try to keep on learning from these mistakes in order to prevent them from happening ever again, and also not let it affect me.
I am so ashamed and have no one to blame but myself.

Fa La La La La

Dear Santa,

      Is this too much to ask for?  

No Babies

     Just last night I was thinking how I don't know anyone who has had a baby nor gotten pregnant in their teenage years.  As in been a teen mom.

"Teen mom is the best form of birth control"

Well today I found out that I do have a friend who falls into this category, she used a condom and it was with her boyfriend... somehow she still got pregnant.  She didn't tell anyone except her boyfriend, who thank God supported her in whatever she wanted to do, he was even willing to be kicked out of his house and support her and their child.  Luckily he didn't have to drop out of school.  She is pro-choice, and is even more steadfast in her beliefs after her situation.  No more zygote.  I am by no means saying this was/is an easy choice, it has got to be one of the most difficult decisions either way.  I am pro-choice, but if I was put into that situation, I don't know if I would be able to terminate the pregnancy.  I want to have many children, as many as I can raise properly.  And knowing that I could have already had a child would really fuck with my head.  I know it's all about how you look at it (when is it considered taking a life? at conception or birth) but I still don't know what my decision would be if I ever had to make one.  Lets hope that I never do.

No Rubba, No Hubba Hubba

Luckily, I will never be a teen mom.  Phew.  They should give out awards for making it through your teens without getting pregnant nor birthing a child.

Legit

Limitless

    "Limitless is basically about a guy who takes a huge dose of adderall."   Yup, I had the same thought.  And quite frankly after experiencing it for myself, I still stick to my previously stated opinion.  I just pulled my official all nighter.  I've stayed up till 6 in the morning, but I'll always get at least like an hours sleep.  This is the first night that I went through two full days.

     I can see why college kids are dying to get their hands on some, it is quite literally a wonder drug.  It really helped me, and kept my focus.  It also helps to motivate, like a lot.  So let's talk about the drug scene on campus, well specifically adderall.  It's seriously one of the easiest drugs to get your hands on illegally.  Right between alcohol and weed.  Everyone and their mother has a prescription for adderall.  Most of these kids don't need it, at least in my and any good psychiatrist's opinon, but I'm not going to address the Rx generation.  I have friends who sell 20 mg XR for $8 a pill and 2.5 mg IR for $3.  Those prices are for if you are a friend of theirs, if not, then add a couple more dollars.  When finals week comes around, prices sky rocket, why? Because they can get away with it.  Even people who have never taken it, are just itching to get a couple pills to help them ace their final.  Just because you take this little pill doesn't mean that you're gonna be a straight A student.  It just helps a bit, "mother's little helper."

I know people who have given a discount because of the sheer quantity some people were buying.  I also know that when you see an athlete who seems to have it all together... they're getting a little extra help, just not in the form of steroids.  

     Are these accusations true? Absolutely.  Are they rather ridiculous, yes absolutely.  If kids are feeling the pressure to do that well in college that they have to commit illegal acts, you know something is wrong with our system.

These are not candy, please don't treat them as such

Hot Sh*t: Tweetering

      I finally gave in to peer pressure and got a twitter.  And can I just say, I am obsessed.  I only wish that my innate talent for making witty remarks in under 140 characters was more appreciated by the general public. #twitterfamous
     I'm sure it's just the novelty of this new tech app and within the month week I'll be #overit.  But for now, this picture sums me up perfectly... except you know, I'm like way hotter, and a girl

#addicted

   
   

XOXO

      Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the lives of the college elite.  Spotted: new girl officially joining the movers and shaker's for drinks.

     By seeing what I have rejected (those whom I actually might surprisingly have more in common with than I thought) in this manner, I realize perhaps I judged them to harshly, or perhaps I'm turning into a snob.  Either way, I'm giving this another chance to disprove my previous notion about those with deep pockets.  It's nice to be able to share that side of myself that I have to keep hidden away from some of my other friends because of the lack of similar experience.  I think I would have to keep a different side of myself hidden if I were to only hang out with this group, so a combination of the two may prove to be more ideal.  Finding the golden mean is usually best.